Chapter 23
The Roaring 80’s......
“ ‘Can‘t repeat the past?’ he cried incredulously. ‘Why of course you can!’ ”
-Jay Gatsby;“The Great Gatsby” by F. Scott Fitzgerald.
Tom had captured the wave of the ‘Roaring 80’s,’ and he hung tight onto its crest.
“Tom, we have an opportunity to bid on this government contract for a handicapped accessible playground. Should we do it?” his saleswoman Alice asked, and continued before he could respond.
“The woman at the county told me that it won’t be much money, but it‘ll be the only wheelchair accessible playset in
“Sounds good to me. Find out what the budget is, and then give them everything we can at a ten percent loss. We can barely afford that kind of loss, but we‘ll be able to give them twice the equipment than any of the large out-of-state playground companies can deliver. We’ll get the job, get good exposure, and do something good.”
“You’re nuts, Tom. They’ll give it to us anyway; they all like us, and we’re the only game in town.”
“Maybe, but it isn’t nice to play on that fact; and ultimately I don’t think its good business either. You know, I’d like to be respected too,” he grinned.
“You and respect! I don’t know about you, but I have kids to feed,” she whined, unconvincingly.
“We can feed them all, and be good too! It’s just a little more challenging. And besides, what kind of silly little thing can we give the handicapped kids, and still make a profit on that job?”
“Not much. The woman had to fight for years just to get the measly $5,000 she has for it. All the vendors are laughing at her.”
“Well lets not laugh, let’s give her $15,000 worth of equipment. That should only cost us $7,000, right Randy?”
“Probably less, since you have been buying truckloads of Redwood. It’s just a lot of decking, since the ramps have to be so long. That’s where the majority of the cost will be, that and labor; but it’s going to be a challenge to find activity centers that kids in wheelchairs can use.”
“Hmmm, Thomas, that’s more than a 10% loss,”
“My math has gone to hell, lately. Go figure,“ Tom replied jokingly.
“Hey Randy, how about we use two by six decking material, instead of the four by four decking, on the ramps; and then custom make them, like it was a huge three foot high deck?”
“That’ll give us the square footage we need; and then we can spend a lot more on steering wheels, a tic-tac -toe center, chin-up bars, and other activities. I think it’ll be good too - to provide a docking station of sorts, where the more active kids can dock their wheelchair, and pull themselves up and along the play structure. It still has to have challenges.”
“Sounds good to me. I think the whole set should also be geared to little kids as well. That way, it’ll be boring to older kids, and they won’t stick around long enough to harass and tease the handicapped kids. So, the whole playground will be targeted towards two groups. Tots and handicapped, and then it’ll get lots of use. It’s at the aquatic center, so there’ll be lots of kids around. Lets also do a couple of those covered picnic tables you and I have been talking about, Randy; and two industrial strength porch swings for the parents to sit on while the kids are playing. That should be a cool park.”
“I agree Tom, but that's a big list.”
“Well it’s really visible, and it’s something I think we should do anyway. I’ll come out and swing a hammer too, so we can keep the labor cost down, o.k.?”
"Ok, let’s do it then!”
The playground was to become the first uniquely designed park in the South, and it ultimately won awards - even a governor's accommodation. It became the first of twenty full scale parks, with playgrounds and picnic shelters, that Tom’s company was to build. Additionally, they manufactured and installed literally thousands of high quality home playground systems in Redwood. High quality, safety, creative sales, and superior aesthetics were the winning combination of factors that insured his company’s success. The company, like the gold rush mentality in the 80’s, grew until Tom employed over 65 employees and incorporated a specialty lumberyard for high quality materials. This allowed him to buy railcar loads of materials, and to thereby slash his material costs in half by eliminating the middlemen everywhere. He had more money to spend, than time to spend it. He had become, seemingly overnight, the up and coming entrepreneur of
“How old are you, Thomas?” his doctor asked, sincerely.
“Thirty two, but I feel.......”
“I can see how you feel, that's the problem. What is it that's getting to you?” the woman asked.
“My employees. My wife. My stress level. No one even seems to comprehend what I’ve done, and do each week; much less support me anymore.”
“Maybe they don’t understand.”
“Well, as for the employees; I’ve never fired anyone who made a sincere effort, and didn’t lie or steal inventory. Those are the only people I’ve fired; but people cycle of their own accord, and resentments of me seem to grow, even while I feel like I’m killing myself so that they can keep secure. Most of my employees never had health insurance before working with me. And my personnel manager, she had to go say something horrible at our company picnic. Imagine, we’re so big that we even have company picnics now!”
“What did she say that upset you so much, Thomas?” the woman asked, calmly.
“We’d just finished up with everything; everyone was fed, happy, and kids were running everywhere. Then she said: ‘Isn’t it nice to know that so many people are depending upon you for their livelihood, and their families?’ I about choked on my hot dog! Hey, I feel that everyday. I didn’t need that reminder. She didn’t mean it in a bad way; but its just one of a million little messages of how everyone looks to me to solve everything. Right now, I have to sell at least $20 to $30 thousand dollars of products a week to meet fixed costs. It’s just gotten really big. And then, there’s this stuff with Sally that brought us here to you.”
“Well, we have all talked about that for endless sessions, haven’t we?”
“Yeah, but I don’t want to give up on our marriage. You’re the best marriage counselor we’ve had, you’re too smart to be fooled by anything.”
“But Tom, that isn’t my job. Counselors are there for people who are trying to work things out. One person can’t do it all; and yet you seem to think that you can......in every aspect of your life.”
“But I’m superman, did you forget?” Tom laughed at himself.
She laughed too, but continued.
“Tom you’re spending lots of money on our sessions, and they aren’t really going anywhere. Do you understand what I’m getting to?”
“Yeah, every time we seem to come to some resolution; she goes around the bush a different direction. She’s a moving target that doesn’t want to sit still, out of fear of being ‘found out.’ We aren’t getting a sincere effort here.”
“I’m glad you see that. So what do you want to do?”
“Keep trying, divorce isn’t even in my vocabulary; and all of this business stuff was only for a better family life anyway. We didn’t have much as kids, so I wanted my kids to lack for nothing.”
“But Tom, it isn’t things they need.”
“Yeah I know; I just thought I could do it all. And that Sally would cover what I couldn’t. But as it is, I feel like I’ve missed an entire year out of the kid’s lives. Little Andrew needs me around more, I hardly know him, and Sally seems so distant from us all. Its tennis, tennis, tennis. This whole A.L.T.A. bitch thing is really getting to me! Its a cult, and the poor bastards who go off to work everyday to support these suburban house bitches are just slaves to their insatiable desires. Its like nouveau riché. They don’t have any experience in how to spend money responsibly. Not all the women are that way, but that's the influence that seems to be weighing on Sally right now.”
“Maybe, but have you considered that she understands exactly what she’s doing?”
“I don’t want to.....”
“Where will denial take you, Thomas?”
"O.k, I’ll try to see what's real. Not what I want to see. How about we try a little more, just to be sure?”
“I can’t, but you can Thomas. I have a partner in the group here who can try to mediate this out for you two. But I have one thing to say to you, because I’m not sure that you can see it for yourself.”
“What?”
“Look at the birthdays of your children. They’re almost exactly two years apart from each other. Did you guys plan it that way?”
“No, I just wanted lots of kids. I love kids. Its just kind of coincidental. Three boys, each two years apart, all June and July birthdays.”
“You didn’t plan it, but do you notice a pattern here? They were all born exactly at the time that Sally could’ve returned to work; or helped you out with the business. She’s exactly where she wants to be.....”
“And, she doesn’t give a shit about what it does to me.....” Tom finished.
“I wouldn’t say that, but is she any different than your mother? Planning and directing you without your true understanding, or participation, in the process? You came here because of intimacy issues; she’ll go months, or even years, without having sex with you......even though she knows it hurts you.”
“I’m a trained monkey to her, aren’t I? And she’s setting me up, to screw up, by having an affair out of sexual frustration. I’d never would do that. Maybe she can see another way. I’ve known about her little games for years, but I’ve just ignored them - figuring that she would understand how useless and worthless they were, by me living a different example. But it looks like she hasn’t even tried to learn, she’s just adapted to different methods, and ......”
“Tom, I’ve said enough. These are all traits of an adult that was emotionally abused as a child. They’re in survival mode, and don’t trust, even if they see, what you’re offering. You guys are on two different planes of existence. You need to meet with Dr. Jones and her, if you want to give it another chance. I really can’t help someone who doesn’t want any help. She’s made it clear to me what her agenda is; if you want to work with that, and continue trying, I admire it; but I can’t participate knowing what I do, and therefore feeling biased by that. And, as for yourself? My advice is that you start taking care of yourself over everyone else; otherwise, you’ll surely die of a heart attack before you hit 42. If you don’t do that first, you won’t be around to take care of your kids. Then where’ll they be?”
“Well, you sure have great news today, Doctor!” Tom laughed. “But I really do appreciate it, and regardless of the thousands I have spent with you, and what you say about that; its been worth every penny. At least now I understand things clearly, and I can act rationally about it all. I’ll give her another chance; but I won’t be blind any longer - to that which I don’t want to see.”
Tom rose to leave, and the Doctor reached out her hand to him with a proud smile. Tom instead gave her a big hug, and gave her a teary thanks.
“Its not good news, but it’s what I needed nonetheless. I’ve got to run though, I have a special businessman’s luncheon in
"O.k., good, Thomas. You know that was a professional opinion. I was an MD, before I went in psychiatry. So that is a physical diagnosis, as well as an emotional one. Good luck Tom!”
“Thanks. Thanks for everything, I do appreciate it; and I’ll follow your recommendations.”
As Tom drove back from Lenox Pointe, he started to cry. He knew in his heart that the doctor was right; he needed to make a major shift in his life, if he wanted to keep his family life intact. That meant more time at home; particularly since it was now undeniable that his worse fears were true. He and Sally had completely disparate value systems. She probably wanted what he offered; and he knew that she loved his dad for how wonderful he was - but she was going to have to prove to him, and to herself, that she was making a conscious effort to start putting back into Tom, rather than draining him. He knew that he could no longer assume anything. By the time he pulled into The Marietta country club, he had recomposed himself, and was actually looking forward to an enjoyable luncheon meeting. Sam Nunn was to speak, and Tom was intently interested in the intriguing man. He was a man that Tom respected from afar; and he enjoyed meeting people with obvious strong character traits, close up. As he walked in the front door, he ran into his buddy, a Sheriff’s deputy.
“Hey Thomas, how’s my favorite entrepreneurial cowboy these days?”
“Great Lyle, just great!”
“Oh don’t go bullshitting a bullshitter! You aught to know better than that! I know you’re smarter than that!”
“Am I that transparent?”
“Nope, I just know you pretty well now; and I can see when my buddy’s dragging. Isn’t that pretty young filly personnel woman of yours keeping you covered?”
“Don’t even start on her. She’s great, but she reminds me of stuff I’d rather not remember.”
“You best be listening to her; she’s got your best interests at heart. She’s a sweetheart, she is. You couldn’t do no better than that.”
“I know all that. She’s fine. They’re all fine. Really! They’re just a lot of fun to deal with somedays!”
“World gettin you down, bubba?”
“Yeah, guess so.....”
“Well lets go in, and relax over a good lunch. These are good business connection meetings, and plain good folk. You can’t get no better!”
“I know, that's why I’m smiling at all,” Tom said, as they reached the wood paneled room of the
“Well you keep smilin, I see someone I have to talk to. See you later.”
“See you! I know you have a Sheriff’s election coming up, have at it!” Tom said, as he patted Lyle on the back in appreciation. Lyle just smiled his knowing smile, and continued on.
Tom sat down at a table of people whom he didn’t really know; but looked quite relaxed in their stage of life. All were retired, or should have been; and carried themselves in the assured manner of propertied southern gentlemen.
“Is this seat taken?” he asked the men seated around the round table.
“No, have a seat, young man. What’s your name?”
As he sat down, he got numerous stares from surrounding tables. Evidently, he had gone directly to a table where you earned a seat; but out of ignorance, Tom had invited himself. None was more surprised than his friend Lyle, and his face showed it.
“Thomas!” he replied, boldly. “I’ve a store on the square, and I do playgrounds and park equipment.”
“Oh, I know you,” one said kindly.
“You donated that playground to
“Yeah, my kids go to school there, and they hadn’t anything.....and not much of a budget, so we kind of helped them along.”
“That was a good thing you did.”
“Thank you. I honestly didn’t think anyone would take notice.”
“Oh, we take notice of all matter of things in
“I got that, that’s why I think its the best place to live around here. There seems to be planning.”
“That there is, son. That there is. Oh, here comes our speaker....”
Just then, Sam Nunn was introduced as
“I have discussed this in depth with my family, and many of you wonderful folks; and its been a heart wrenching decision. But I think I would better serve my family, Georgia, and the country; by remaining in the senate, and staying on the Armed Services Committee. I don’t want to be remembered as Sam ‘Hubert Hoover’ Nunn. I appreciate all of your support, and wish I could do as you want me to; but this is a better course for us all,” he concluded a bit sadly.
“Well, boys I guess that answers our questions, eh?“ said one of the men at Toms’ table.
The group at the table had been listening intently, and registered mild disappointment, but no real surprise. Tom spoke up, naively, into the silent void.
“I think he’s right. This country is on the brink of major changes, and the most responsible thing would to be to face them; but whomever does that will be crucified. Its not going to be easy times, everyone has gotten too used to our roaring 80’s mentality. Do you think people are going to appreciate the person who says ‘here is the Wall, and Street, that we’re all going to be splattered on?’ I don’t think so. Unfortunately, I think its going to be like the crash before the depression. There isn’t going to be any stopping it, people have gone nuts. Whoever tries to stop the inevitable, is going to get blamed for something that he’s only trying to avoid. It’s American shortsightedness at its best. I think its better to bank what you can, as safely as you can, and plan for rebuilding.”
The mood at Tom’s table shifted at his comments; and the men were intrigued at the young man’s insightful perspective. Tom felt a little uncomfortable at being the center of attention, so he tried to shift it off of him by going banal.
“I think Mr. Nunn’s a great guy; he’s just trying doing the responsible thing, again. I went to the auction they had of his pecan farm. It was interesting, but sad.”
“Did you now? How was it sad?” Asked one fellow, as they all smiled humoring smiles at the curious diversion called Thomas.
“Oh, you could tell it had been in the family for generations; and that way of life is fading away. It’s the first pecan grove I’d ever been in. The trees were wonderful, and I loved those machines that shook the nuts off the trees. It had to be a nice life.”
“Yes, I think you’re right. But, things do change,” interjected one man.
“Do they really have to change that much? Asked Tom. “I think family life has to be protected, and it’s not happening these days. It’s everyone for themselves, and what are kids supposed to figure from that?”
“Do you have children, Thomas?” asked a kindly man, seated to his right.
“Yes, three boys,” he answered, as multiple conversations broke out at the table.
Tom was relieved that he was no longer the center of attention; and he felt that the man was genuinely interested in talking to him. He was obviously very wealthy, very well mannered, and sincere. A true southern gentleman; and Tom appreciated his interest. All of his life, he had learned so much from older people, that he welcomed the conversation.
“That’s wonderful. Truly wonderful! There’s nothing like your children. Value your time with them, Tom, it’ll be short. It may not seem like it now; but they’ll be grown up and gone before you know it - then, there’s no going back.”
“You know, you hear things like that; but its hard to really believe, and....”
“There isn’t enough time, eh?” The man completed Tom’s thought.
“Yeah, where do you find the time, and still.....”
“Get rich?”
“Well, at least comfortable and safe,” offered Tom hesitantly.
“Therein lies the catch, young man. There never seems to be enough, once you are on that track 100% of the time. Its a fine balance. You can always make another million dollars, but you can never replace that lost time with your children, when they are growing up. Once you lose that, you lose them - forever, and that's a lonely business, because they will never have time for you then. Guard your real wealth, Thomas. Those children!” he concluded, on a sad note.
“I will. Thanks! I believe you, and I do appreciate the advice,” Tom said to him, as the man rose to leave.
“I only wish I had listened to people who tried to tell me, Tom. But, I do think you hear what I am saying,” he said in an undertone so that no one but Tom could hear.
“I do,” was Tom’s quiet reply. “I really do.”
“Gentlemen, I must be leaving now. Have a good day!” the nameless man said, and took his leave.
As soon as he left, the rest of the people began to leave. One man made a point of stopping next to Tom, and shaking his hand as he left.
“Good to meet you Thomas. You have some very interesting ideas. Good luck with your business, I think you’ll do fine here. And most of all, thanks for what you’ve done for the pre-school. I couldn’t figure out who this mystery guy was who was so generous. I’m active in the church there, and we all appreciate your help with the pre-school program.”
“Thanks. Have a nice day,” was all that Tom could get out.
It was hard for him to accept compliments......even though he longed for them. It upset him to never quite know what to say in response, without sounding dumb.
“You too! Keep good Thomas; and always remember, what goes around does come around......eventually,” he said with a smile, as he departed.
Tom sat alone at the now empty table, in a daze. He felt like he had just stumbled into a twilight zone ......again. But the message, if he was willing to listen, was very clear. He knew now what he had to do. His guardian angel was speaking loud and clear today, through battle weary veterans of every type and shape.
“Focus on the kids, that’s your real mission and future. The rest, maybe even your marriage - if you don‘t make major changes to make it real, is transitory; and therefore shouldn’t be your main priority. This man just walked away from the Presidency of the
***************
©Tibet, Lamplight Unto a Darkened World…the American Delusion, a Parody of life ( L'illusion Américaine, une Parodie de Vie); is copyright protected, by author, Patrick Mahoney. Online Internet Reproduction/Propagation/Quotation Encouraged, with this citation. Any Printed reproduction, other than for personal reading, requires written permission by author, patrickm at http://patrickm.gather.com/ or patrick1000000000@yahoo.com
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