Chapter 11
Departure of the Prince
Tom accepted his promotion with a sigh of relief.
“Finally, I’ll be able to get involved in larger projects and see the rest of the corporation firsthand,” he thought.
The job, however, had its own challenges; particularly his new boss, the director of the internal audit department. He always wanted the auditors to find dirt on whomever they audited, yet he never explained what happened with the audit reports. Tom and his coworkers found startling problems, and expected quick and decisive action. That wasn’t to be. They began to see their new department as a corporate ‘Gestapo,’ and themselves as the front people to earn the target’s trust, find the dirt, and put it into a report. His coworkers were experienced and seasoned public accounting auditors. He learned a lot from them, but they became disenchanted with the outcome of their work. After a while, it became difficult for Tom to try and find any serious recommendations; because, he knew that it would just be used to blackmail whoever helped him out. It was a sleazy job, and Tom hated it. His boss was a soulless bastard; who could smile in people’s faces, while he had them gutted from behind. Tom wanted out, as fast as he could. His immediate boss, a very honorable and hard working woman, shared his concerns. She was the first to go.
“Tom, I have to tell the board what’s going on here. It’s our job, and responsibility.”
“Maybe when you were outside auditors, but not now. You’d be going over his head, and he won’t deal well with that.”
“I don’t care. This is nuts. It’s so perverted, and twisted.”
“Well, he has built you up to the president and board, he can’t really say you’re lying or he would be admitting that he was wrong about you all along. I doubt his ego, and reputation, can handle that. You might have a chance after all.”
“I have to do something. Do you realize the implications of the incident in Bhopal ? One tank of gas leaked, and it killed nearly the entire city! From our purchasing review, we know we have extra rail cars full of chlorine gas in every major city in the
“But, Sandra,” interjected Alan, the other auditor. That was
“I hate to differ, Alan, but we were teaching them how to run that plant. The way corruption and nepotism rules there, people in power must have majority ownership; but they aren’t too savvy in running things.”
“I have to say, though, it was a masterful job of spin control. If it had happened anywhere other than
“Do you hear what you’re saying, Thomas?”
“Yes, unfortunately, I do! I’m starting to think like them. Scary, eh? But, Sandra, the folks on top know all of this, they just can’t have it in writing.”
“But, we put everything in writing, and he’s holding some things back from the board.”
“Maybe because he has been asked to?” asked Alan, sardonically.
“I can’t believe that. I don’t see that I have any other choice; but to go over his head.”
“Good luck, then,” said Tom feebly, as he gave up trying to argue with her.
Two weeks later, the entire department was called together for a meeting.
“I am sad to announce that Sandra has decided to seek employment at another firm,” the director stated bluntly, but with a big smile. Effective today! It was a quick decision that she made, and she came by last night to clear out her things. I want all of her reports, and your recommendations brought to me immediately.”
To the director, nothing had happened. He didn’t care about anything. It was clear what the function of internal auditing was to Tom and the others. Then, Robert’s warning sank in: “At least Max defends his people. You can‘t go it alone, you need to pick a faction to belong to; that's just ‘Survival-101’ in corporations.”
Tom recognized then, that his worse fears had been realized. He worked for one of the best corporations in the country, and still it was far from what he expected to find. The sense of corporate order and public responsibility were well crafted public images, that had little basis in reality. While many employees also believed the double speak, the bottom line was profits at all costs; and to hone, and retain, the image - whatever the effort - to preserve profits. His luncheon with his peers was even worse, and pushed Tom further along in his realizations.
“Hey, what are you doing now, Tom?” asked Randall, an urbane scarecrow.
Randall was tall, thin, educated at
“I got a promotion to internal audit, but I’m thinking about my next position. Maybe something in the field?”
“Would you really even consider leaving The City?” he said, genuinely astonished.
“It would be hard, but it would probably only be temporary. There are some plant assignments available, and it’s a logical step for me,” Tom replied.
“Yes, you’re right. But, I could never do it. Dirty factories, uggh! I’m too much of a city boy, and I’d rather buy and sell factories rather than live in them. You are a brave one, Thomas.”
“No, not really, I just got some things from my dad. One of them was this silly idea that I should produce something physical with my efforts, rather than playing the arbitrage game.”
“Silly boy, have we taught you nothing?”
“I know, you are ’right’ in a way, and will get rich, but I...”
“But, nothing! It’s that whole family thing. I heard your wife is pregnant. You got the yearning to grow something. That's ok, I guess; someone has to. But, people like me? We live for the game, nothing else really matters. You’ll see, when you outgrow this obsession with sincerity, and see the world for what it really is. You are a smart one Tom, possibly smarter than the rest of them. Use your smarts, and send Miss Thang back to
Tom knew that Randall cared for him, and gave him great inside information and tips because he saw Tom as an equal, and as a possible good friend. But Randall was from a different world. It was a world that certainly was attractive to Tom, something he thought he always wanted, but it was empty. It was self gratification for self’s sake, and Tom hadn’t be raised to accept that as anything other than extreme selfishness; and ultimately, self-destructive self-absorption. Once he went down that enticing road, Tom knew he’d never be able to come back to being a giving person. He looked at Randall with new eyes, now; and saw a future for him that wasn’t very pleasant, in personal terms. He wasn’t a bad man, just incredibly jaded and self concerned. Tom knew that he was seeing the best in him now; and that as soon as he left lunch, Tom would become just another ‘detail’ to dismiss. Tom didn’t like to think he was only that to someone else; and certainly didn’t want to walk in Randall’s shoes. And, that's what he was suggesting....’join me.’
“Helllooo, Thomas, where are you?” Randall’s voice broke in on his silent thoughts.
“Sorry, just thinking...”
“Yes, wellll, I was saying.... We finalized the purchase of that of that salad dressing company, and are going to get rich on the deal. Do you know what the profit margin is on salad dressings? It’s incredible! The dry mixes are mostly salt, you know, and a few spices. So, the cost is in packaging, and prepping. The institutional salad dressing sales are beyond belief. Wait until we put it in national distribution through grocery stores. Then we just bought that other company; but it’s on a “need to know basis.” The president is an idiot, but that’ll be soon taken care of.”
“The president?”
“Yes, they got the product Brand by buying the company, and they got the company by buying the president. It’s like that little kids story of the woman who swallowed the spider!” he laughed at his own seemingly clever joke.
“To get the brand, which we are in a great position to exploit, we had to bring on their president and founder as a vice president of our corporation. What a simple cretin that man is! A true bore.”
“That poor bastard won’t last a year upstairs,” commented Tom. “He won’t have a clue what kind of shark pool he just landed in!”
“That’s the only fun part of it, watching them take chunks out of him as he thrashes about. He won’t last six months, much less a year, dear fellow. They signed a long termed contract with him, that's what got him. But he’s too simple to understand that they don’t care if he ever shows up to work or not. They gave him what his ego wanted, a big job in a big corporation. As soon as his ego gets trashed, he’ll run away....with his money, of course. But, we still have the brand. He was sooo stupid; he didn’t know what he had. We can make it into one of the most profitable consumer product categories ever! “
“What if it doesn’t work out, and doesn’t make it into ‘one of the most profitable categories ever?’” asked Tom, jokingly.
“Then, we’ll sell it to another sucker, and let him work the good name of the brand into the ground as he sells inferior goods under the old reputation. It’ll last long enough to make them money, so they’ll gladly pay us more than we paid for the Brand. We, of course, won’t ever squeeze a Brand like that. Its bad for the reputation, you know. Not good image stuff. But, that doesn’t mean we can’t profit from it on the side, eh? So, it’s really very smart, we win regardless. I got a great big cash bonus for setting it all up! Think I’ll pay cash for that sports car now....”
“It sounds like a deal you can’t lose at,” Tom said, trying to be positive. “What about the factory?”
“Oh, I forgot that. That's the best part! We’ve set up a real estate sale. It closes next week, after the bastard has moved here, and is in his plush office upstairs. We sold the property for twice the sales price of the whole deal! We’ve already doubled our money!”
“But what about manufacturing, how are you going to do that? And wasn’t that his hometown, family owned, and all?”
“We kept the brand and the image, that's the value. The physical property is antiquated, and silly. Our Chairman and his wife visited it on a road trip. She liked the product so much, that he bought the company. Who cares about the old factory, or the family and local people? They’re all simpletons, anyway. The beauty is that he gets to blame the sale on the ‘big old mean corporation,’ and since he has already moved here, to The City, he doesn’t have to deal with the fallout. It’s really quite clean.”
“And, I was feeling sorry for the poor bastard. He deserves what he’s going to get upstairs.”
“They all deserve it, Thomas. Don’t you get it, yet? It’s the most clever that wins! I agree with upper management on you, though; you could be one of the most clever ones. You play sincere so well, everyone will trust you.”
“Thanks for the compliment, Randall,” Tom said with disguised disgust.
“No problem, my man. No problem. I knew that you would be one of the best, I told them.”
“Well, I think its best for me to do some field work first though, don’t you?”
“Sure, but don’t stay away too long, things change quickly, and I’m looking to move to another firm once I’ve reaped what I can here.”
“Yeah, I understand you now,” said Tom cynically.
“Good. Then things will be fine. Say goodbye to the rest of the fellows here, I need to run.”
With that, Randall left Tom shell shocked, and alone, among their group of ruthless, yet ‘less smart,’ peers at the large round table, in the small Chinese restaurant, in the middle of
“On the log, at the bottom of the sea....” Tom said to himself listlessly.
As that silly kid’s song played through his head, Tom struggled with the days’ revelations.
“I know an old woman who swallowed a spider, that wiggled and giggled, and tickled inside her,” he mumbled aloud.
“What? Tom, are you talking to me?” asked Patrick, distracted from his conversation.
“No, just humming an old riddle song. ‘I don’t know why, she swallowed that fly, perhaps she will die!’ Just humming along, lost in my thoughts. Don‘t mind me.”
"Ok,” he said, relieved, and turned his back on Tom again, as he rejoined the conversation on whose office had the better original artwork.
Tom had to ask himself the question that he’d been avoiding; now that he understood the real path in corporate
“Is this the path I want to follow? Do I want to belong to this club of people?”
His instantaneous answer was “no.” So it was, that Tom began to plan his departure. He was smart enough to do it on his terms, and to not fall on a sword needlessly like Sandra had. The hard part, he realized, was trying to pretend like he was still passionate and part of the club, while planning his exit. He knew that once they found out that they didn’t own him body and soul, that they’d cut him lose immediately. That was, no doubt, to forestall retaliatory actions or just unpleasant questions from other employees. People were either there, or not. It kept the internal message clean and pure, and the consequences of dissent very clear. If Tom was to institute any positive changes before he left, it would have to be done as a series of ‘mistakes.’ His reputation was sterling, so he would have reserves to draw upon as he feigned mistakes. By the time they realized that he didn’t care, and his mistakes were actually intentional, he’d be set up for a new career somewhere else. What it would be, he didn’t know.....yet. That would take time, and would be his real focus from now on......determining his next career. He knew one thing, though; it wasn’t going to be another Fortune 100 firm.
“Goodbye corporate
“’Half of knowing what to do, is knowing what not to do,’ goes the old saying. If they can’t teach me the right things to do, then I’ll learn the tricks of the devious.... to work around them....so I can accomplish the right things. Knowing what’s right is one thing, knowing what to do to change it is another....”
And so, he resolved to use his opportunity to learn things he never wanted to learn, and began his ‘undercover’ career.
***************
“
“I hear that you can get huge homes there, for half the price we pay here,” reasoned Anthony. “Is that why you’re leaving the city, Tom?”
His friends at work couldn’t even comprehend the thought of leaving San Francisco for a two year assignment ‘in the field,’ much less Tom’s hidden plan to stay there. He had to laugh at them, even though he liked them a lot.
“Their world is just a lot narrower,” he told himself.
“
But, the culture in
“You know that if you’re away from corporate that long, you’ll never know what people will do to you! The guys at your level now, will be higher up when you get back. You’ll lose your lead advantage. You need to rethink this move, Tom.”
“Thanks, Anthony, I appreciate your concern, but my interests are changing with the baby coming. I want to be able to send him to good private schools, not to bankrupt public schools who fell victim to proposition 13. And I want him to grow up in a more family centered place, where we can spend time with him at home. Sally will be able to stay home with him, there. We could never afford that here. The City is great, but you know how expensive everything is, and it isn’t really children oriented. It’s a quality of life issue.”
“You aren’t coming back?” he asked, dumbfounded. “Are you sure you want kids? She can still abort it, can’t she? What about her career?”
Anthony was one of the few that Tom trusted, he had been on the prior development program before Tom and the new MBAs arrived. He was one of the hard working ones who had been left behind due to their arrival; although he never resented Tom, and they had become good friends.
“Let’s let that be our little secret, ok? You know, us staying there. By the way, the girls already had my wife in tears at Christmas when they asked her those same questions. See, something so important to us seems like a burden to people here.”
“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone. I’ll be hoping that you change your mind when sanity returns to you!” he said angrily.
************
When Tom arrived at his ‘field assignment’ in the manufacturing plants, it was his job to reform the accounting departments, and information systems, at all of the Southern region factories. Again, they expected him to clean house by firing all of the old ‘dead wood’ accountants. He played dumb, and worked towards retraining them. Then, one of his bosses came to visit.
“We’re meeting with Kevin today for lunch.”
“Why?”
“Oh, to help him along in his job evolution,” he said obtusely. Is he here today?”
“Yes,” Tom said. “That’s his car there; that firebird.”
“I hope it’s paid for,” he said with a sinister laugh.
Within a week, Tom had to prepare to hire three new accountants. The man went to each plant and fired people outright.
Tom did their work until he eventually hired good men, and promptly trained them to the best of his abilities. One of his favorites, a man he salvaged from the steel industry in
“Tom, I just have to say I’m not prejudiced or nothing; but since Sarah has begun working, there is a definite smell here. We even have to use air fresheners on our desks!”
“Grow up,
“You can’t do that!”
“Ugghhh, yes I can.”
This was Tom’s first experience with the pink sheeted ‘ladies’ of the clan. He got anonymous threats after a while. He was losing popularity quickly, even though he was doing a great job. He continued to earn his salary, by saving at least twice the amount of his annual salary every month in cost savings. But, after a couple of years, his popularity was waning, and his support in the home office withered as people moved. Everything happened as he had predicted.
“Tom,” advised the savvy
“I don’t mean to, Arthur, but you’re paying the people in the bottling plant across the street half of what the people in the manufacturing plant are making. And, they know it. You’re going to be facing lawsuits, and big labor problems. Besides, it’s just wrong and unnecessary.”
“Tom, we can’t be profitable in the bottle plant if we pay them more money.”
“Well, maybe we shouldn’t be making bottles then, eh?”
“Tom, this is
“I know, but ....”
“But nothing. Hey, don’t worry about this now. I have a ground floor opportunity for you. There’s an IPO for an Aspartame manufacturer. The only manufacturer. We found out that saccharine is going to be banned soon. In fact we’re encouraging that. So the logical replacement will be this product we’re calling NatureSweet. You can buy all the stock you want at a buck a share. I’ll put you in touch with the broker. How's that for me looking out for you? You should look out for me the same ways, then we both do fine, you understand?”
“But, Arthur, they know that Aspartame causes severe headaches in people - affecting brain chemistry; and it isn’t proven as safe. There’s something wrong, they just haven’t proven exactly what it is yet.”
“That's the beauty of the deal, Tom. It’s a sure bet. By changing the name, they avoid all of the Aspartame bad press issues over health concerns, and no one knows that it’s the same thing. It will take the special interest groups another twenty years to discredit NatureSweet; but by then they will have something else. People want low calorie diet stuff.....a sugar substitute. The demand is outrageous. They will use it in everything. No one cares if it’s healthy. It’s available, cheap to produce, and has an incredible profit margin. It’s a guaranteed win, that's why I am giving you the tip. But you have to move fast. The announcements banning Saccharine come out next week.”
“Thanks, Arthur. But no thanks,” Tom replied.
“Don’t go up against me, Tom.”
“I don’t have any intention of doing that, I’m just warning you about what I hear from the employees.....they are pissed, and are planning something.”
“I’ll just fire them. Unemployment around here is really high. They’re a dime a dozen.”
“Whatever, it’s just my job to report stuff. It’s your plant.”
“Yes, it is, and don’t you forget it!”
Tom didn’t fully understand the bribe, and the threat that his ruthless plant manger had made. Within a week, Max flew to
“We will give you an office in Dunwoody, and a secretary, until you find a new job.”
“Thanks, Max; that’s kind of you.”
“It’s the least that I can do, Tom,” he said with a sadistic smile.
Tom was ecstatic; he would finally be free of all work responsibilities, so that he could complete his job search that he already had in motion. He had decided, after due consideration, that American business was possibly just too young to really work towards long term goals; and therefore made errors in character for short term profits. It seemed like the only alternative when they maintained a myopic view on quarterly results. Tom decided that International business was his best choice. There, he felt, tried-and-true business practices of long established companies would show that it was not only nice, but good business, to act responsibly in environmental issues and employee relations. Tom doubted that the American fixation on short term results would last in the long run. He was therefore courting long established international firms. Just as Tom returned to his office, his accountant from
“Tom, I think its best if you move out your stuff tonight after hours, it’ll cause less commotion and embarrassment for you. Then I’ll tell the employees tomorrow, after you’re gone. Anyway, I want to move into your office first thing tomorrow. It’s best that they know that I’m in charge now, right away. Also, I have new furniture coming. They gave me your job,” he said with a gloating smile. “They want someone who’ll do what’s necessary,” he said with an ‘I got you’ sneer.
Suddenly Tom felt terribly sad, and it must have showed.
“Tom, are you ok?” he asked with obviously false sincerity.
“Yeah, I just feel sad about you.”
“Don’t, I got what I wanted all along. I knew I would, eventually.”
“That's not it, you dumb shit. I’m sad that you would behave this way. I thought I knew you better; and for your information, I knew I was going to leave the company before I even transferred her from corporate. I was trying to help your sorry ass succeed me. You didn’t have to take what I was already going to give you. I feel sad for you......not me.
As for the employees, I’ve asked them all to come into my office. Here they are now.”
Everyone crammed into Tom’s office; and were uncharacteristically quiet.
“I’ve called you all in to let you know that the rumors of my death were greatly exaggerated.”
The joke fell on uncomprehending ears, and Tom sighed deeply.
“Folks, itsa joke! Seriously, though, they say they don’t want me in the plants anymore. I just don’t go with the flow enough. Surprise!“ He laughed.
“Don’t worry about me, guys; I’m moving uptown, to a Dunwoody office. Well, at least for a while,” he teased. “I was just telling dingus here, that I only feel sad about his behavior.....not that I’m leaving. You guys are going to have to teach him a lot. I hope you have the necessary patience. I tried, but....” he let his thought trail off.
“Oh, Tom,” pleaded
“Thanks,
“Me too; Sharon and I are great friends now!”
She and Sharon laughed, and the group clapped in appreciation of Tom’s efforts on their behalf.
“Thanks guys. I really appreciate the feedback. Sometimes you wonder if your work makes a difference.”
“Well, it does to some of us,” she said smartly, as she gave Todd the evil eye.
Todd was completely embarrassed, and red-in-the-face. Tom had upstaged him, even in apparent defeat. He saw what real respect meant. Something he had little chance to earn at that point.
As everyone left, Tom called to Todd to stay.
“A little advice, Todd: it’s best to understand who are your friends, and who are your enemies. If you shoot all your friends, then who will you have left? Good luck at corporate. Sorry I didn’t have a chance to help you survive there. Oh, by the way, I’m only taking my picture. I promised it to young Mr. Ampin, that new process engineer.....he likes Edgar Winter. I just need my briefcase. I’ve already moved out......months ago.
Tibet, Lamplight Unto a Darkened World…the American Delusion, a Parody of life ( L'illusion Américaine, une Parodie de Vie); is copyright protected, by author, Patrick Mahoney. Online Internet Reproduction/Propagation/Quotation Encouraged, with this citation. Any Printed reproduction, other than for personal reading, requires written permission by author, patrickm at http://patrickm.gather.com/ or patrick1000000000@yahoo.com
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